How much do you say?
How much do you say to people when they ask you: How are you? Or how much do you divulge when you’re explaining why you won’t be…going to dinner…attending a catch up…going surfing today when you usually love it…going to someone’s wedding…
Talking about bums is hard. It’s one of those places that aren’t really spoken about, especially not to light friends and acquaintances. Even with close friends it’s not a common topic! It would be a lot easier if you could say Oh you know I’ve got this wound on my leg that’s not healing, gets infected most days, and it makes it really sore to sit, therefore drive etc, so that’s why I can’t come. Or Oh, today my leg’s just playing up. Then people would get a really clear idea of why you pulled out of a lot of things, and why you spent so much time at home.
What message do you want to put out to the Universe? So someone who has an idea of what I’m going through asks me how I am at the moment. If there is inflammation and pain and I’ve been having a real mental struggle with it, do I say I’m feeling really good thank you, or do I express what my senses are telling me? I am in a lot of pain and just so over all of this right now. Or do I say Even though my senses are telling me otherwise, I am well thank you. (I’m leaning towards this one at the moment…).
When you have something that’s considered ‘hidden’ or a chronic condition that you want to be positive about, how do you fully let people in on your journey without feeling like you complain or are a stuck record? Because yes that fistula is still around… And how do you send out the picture to the Universe of imagining full health and vibrant well being without keeping those very real, hard experiences from people around you.
It’s confusing. It’s a tough one for sure. How much do you say? I hate having to say, my health is up and down, because actually it’s not. My general health is great, and I don’t want to put that message ‘out there’, but often it’s the easiest phrase.
I haven’t come up with any answers myself yet. It’s a work in progress. Over the years I have become more open about bums, but I still like to gloss over it as much as possible. And I suppose I would love for others to be holding in their minds a picture of me that’s more able than I always feel.
What do you say?