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Thank you India, and Everything Else

Thank you India

India you light me up from the inside My soul radiates just thinking about you To touch your dust with my own two hands changed me Being on your land left me with an explosion of colour inside vibrant, full and yet so complex.

All these years of journeying that lead me to this one moment in my life, intrinsically entwined with you a red thread connecting me to your land who would have known it would be this way? Maybe you in your ancient wisdom.

To stand on the soil of a country so steeped in spirituality Deeply, anciently, I can feel it in your breathing This juxtaposition of so much love ingrained in the earth and in the temples People with nothing smiling, kind, so open and then the fighting, in the name of religious ideas merciless killing and the blood mixing with your red earth

I am forever changed because of you Because of your people and everything that you are I will always feel the pull of that red thread calling me back, gently yet fiercely And one day I will heed it and stand on your soil again.

Thank you for what you are and for what you are not and everything in between. I am blessed to have followed my journey to you and found what I was looking for and more.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you India.

And thank you for my courageous spirit to pursue my vision of a vibrantly healthy body. Thank you to all those who walk with me – both near and far – sharing their strengthening love and support. Some days the gratitude pulses so strongly through my veins it’s like adrenaline – firing through every cell – leaving me in awe of where I am. Of how blessed I am.

This body of mine. So patient and so strong – now so free from pain and able again.

Until pain prevents you from something so ‘small’ as sitting normally, you don’t realise what a luxury it is. Thank you that I can now sit at the dining room table. Sit at my desk, sit and drive a car, sit on a my surfboard out the back. Thank you for the renewed energy in my body to be able to move and explore again. I will never take that for granted.

Thank you for the growth and perspective shifts over these years, and for the vision to do things differently now. That I can live in a way that doesn’t come at a huge cost to my mind and body. Thank you for the moments and thank you for the love! Thank you, and thank you again!

For so long I thought I had to do it alone.

I thought I had to fix my fistula without anyone’s help. But it’s not true. I walked the journey I needed to walk. Somehow I made it, even though there were days when I thought I would give up forever and call it a day. I didn’t think I could go on. I didn’t think that I could do one more day of that robbing pain that consumed me like fire. And yet a part of me never gave up.

There was a part of me quietly cheering the down-hearted part on – sending soothing words – encouraging phrases that I often could not hear. But another part of me heard. And even though it all felt too much to keep going, I did. That stubborn, determined streak in me refused to have its light snuffed out. And so here I am. Days and days and days in a row without being hindered by a knifing, all-encompassing pain in my bum, and body exhausted from constantly fighting infection. Combatting the emotional drain of the struggle.

It’s so draining. Sometimes its easy to forget how draining pain is. How it spends so much of your body’s energy normally used for day to day functioning. And sometimes I forget how much energy it takes to remain emotionally stable, when for the 200th week in a row I would wake up to cope with fluctuating pain all day…again.

But now a different way. A more gentle compassionate way, with respect and honour for the journey and myself. Thank you for healing. Thank you India. Thank you for perspective, insights and tapping into wisdom.

And thank you for all the earth angels who walk alongside us.


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